tiny poems
by scott hess
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Monday, April 17, 2017
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Monday, December 12, 2016
Monday, November 14, 2016
A DREAM OF A MOMENT
beauty, if it exists,
is young, still, an image
locked in time, captured
at rest, exposed to con-
quest, protected behind
glass, a dream of a moment
that sings, "this cannot
last." beauty if it exists
is born in the unconscious
present, yes, but lives purely
in the sentimental
past.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
WITHIN
would that i could remain
among the clouds, sane just
a few moments more
but the air is cold and thin
and I am only up here visiting.
the earth far below is my home
full of warm air and family,
varied rancor and calamity and
so i descend sneaking a piece
of the vast indifferent sky
hidden safely within me.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
BEST BURDEN
fatherhood is the best
burden i have
shouldered; we say
we raise children
but truth is we
carry them always
our hearts nearly bursting
from the strain, and just
when we set them down
they need back up again.
old people have been known
to shrink under the weight of this
glorious
unrelenting
perfect
pain.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
WHOLE
the shorts were shorter then
and my chicken legs
stuck to the bus seats,
flesh spreading out
like shiny cutlets ready
to be dragged through flour.
“i’m fat,” I thought.
“you’re not,” mom said.
i started banging my head
against the bus windows
on the ride home, wanting pain
to prove i could take it.
to prove i could take it.
older now i no longer seek
to suffer and when i break
i know enough about looking
whole to fake it.
Friday, October 7, 2016
TIME
when we talk about loss
we invent things that were
once here, thought to be
possessed, yet now
somehow
gone, left.
fortunes.
spouses.
hope.
innocence.
behind every great loss
is an illusion of time
that never erodes,
always arrives.
nothing can be
owned, least of all
time.
Monday, October 3, 2016
ESCAPING
more and more my core i tries
to find someplace to hide as the body
survives a noisy bazaar of pains
and mismatched parts, this shoulder
firing false alarms down that arm,
this old spine no longer aligned,
and degradation arises as cottony
constellations of suffering, emulsified
silver that whispers of my dark slide,
breath escaping from the inside.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
DIFFERENT STROKES (1980)
my body went electric on me
in 1980 -- all that basement party
french-kissing and adam ant's
ambiguous dressing made my face
break out; i found the logistics
of making out distressing, soft
flesh pressing hard against my
shy insistent parts, the pounding
of our craven hearts, craving more,
surrounded by low art and high
hopes, the groping pleasures of
dark places i'd never felt before.
Monday, September 26, 2016
DAMN
"nothing you write before
40 is worth a damn."
10 yrs past yr damn dead-
line, get a load of me now
still writing, still
don't know how.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
1980
who expected j.l. and j.r.
to disappear, shot
down dead
in an uneasy year? a
cliffhanger
and a bed-bound bohemian
brought
together by bullets,
fictional and delusional as
pac-man
and post-it notes began to stick,
predicting
pokemon go and facebook:
YES! we
believed in a winter miracle
although NO, we would not go to moscow,
and so we
iced summer dreams
of soviet gold while
deciding reagan
was not too old; we
sentenced a killer clown
to death and
suffered saint helen’s
fiery breath. as macaulay culkin was birthed
in manhattan, stuart goddard was reborn as adam.
Monday, August 15, 2016
FEVER DREAMS
fever dreams of bees and teeth
scattered across the bedspread
fading light and ragged breaths
rising from the deathbed
airtight calls and all-in hugs
climbing stairs and waiting chairs
pulling close and fading fast
nowhere left, cannot last
gathered love
rise above
never gone not
coming back.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
AFLOAT
you are an oil slick
tucked in the corner
of a perfect pool dug in-
to the hillside of a Costa
Rican mansion. the noise
of construction rises from below
your vacation, as your mother looks down
from the balcony, counting your beers with love
and a swirl of toucans, buzzards, and monkeys above
disrupts the monstrously blue sky.
triumph and loss commingle
and the ineffable imperfection of life
lands from on high
and keeps you
down no matter how
you try to fight, rise, deny.
Monday, June 27, 2016
HEFT
our hearts beat most meaning-
fully but a few times --
born, in love, fluttering just before
death, sustained by the unseen
humility of breath, weighed down
always by mortality's obscene heft.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
DIEHARD
i’m ashamed
how attached
i am to my image –
how slowly i pass
by windows and mirrors,
post all those posed moments
online, engage in constant self-
evaluation: how’s the jawline?
i can see stark focus is no longer
my ally. i’ve become better off
touched up like an aging celebrity:
and let's face it,
my only diehard fan is me.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
WHEN YOU FINALLY COME OUT
as a poet you may lose friends
not to mention the respect
and trust of other men. oh,
fear of verse is real, poem-a-phobia
so palpable you might feel
like an electric eel: the mass of
men flee from sentiment and
seek spaces less public
to drown their gloom.
THE APOLOGY
sunrise is
the apology
the earth makes
for sleepless nights,
the return of grace
to a world endlessly
turning away
from itself, hiding
from the truth.
Monday, April 18, 2016
THAT'S FLYING
mid-flight in your fever
dream you decide to pop
up and say hello to the chap
smirking in the cockpit
wearing pilot's clothing.
lurking there your fear arises
as you surmise he has no flight plan nor
more than a cursory knowledge
of aerodynamics. granted, he has some
great stories, and he's nice enough
to pin plastic wings through your shirt,
breaking the skin. bleeding
you plead with him to land.
"it's plain to see we are nearly
out of gas. "the stewardess
has free beer," he replies.
"go back to your seat,
the movie is about to begin.
and when it's over someone will be by
to tuck you in."
"we're dying," you say.
"that's flying," says he.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
I'M FINE
as a kid when it comes
to risk you require
a safety net, soft
limits on damages,
nobody needs to die
just yet. you get
older, hit the hard high
ground of mortality: nobody
lives through this. give me
the car keys, i haven't had enough
to drink, we are all going to
die anyway. hope-
fully not today.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
FRANTICALLY (for Nick Zeckets)
younger, i was a fort-
builder, hunkered down
in doddering bunkers
made out of blankets and old
boxes; constructing solitude within
which i could imagine myself
the lord of something far
larger, a new world order
absent bed times or neighbor-
hood borders. now i find myself
a desk-dweller, a free-time hoarder,
stuffing novels inside notebooks
frantically
growing older.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
SLACKER
are we to apply ourselves
with laser focus
or drift though life
lacking aim and purpose?
i'm not sure it matters.
i choose the latter.
Monday, February 8, 2016
ILLEGIBLE
my sons rise Monday
mornings creaky with complaints --
school's cold comfort
registering with the chill
of illegible potential.
(photo by Gemini)
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
DUMB WAITERS
loss and more loss,
the matter of everyone
who mattered
rejoining the ethers, the rest
of us dumb waiters
conveying empty
thoughts and prayers.
Monday, January 25, 2016
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
these days the suffering surrounds us
like a biker gang, cloudy thoughts
hanging like exhaust over the roar
of our pain. punches rain down
from toothless fools, fueled
by our actual sins, yet caught up in the false
violence that arises from the fear
of loss, an accumulation of tragedy
and the mounting burdens
of old age and empathy.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
LESS
don’t apologize
for silence, that blank non-
space where the brain takes
a break to circumnavigate
the detritus of so much
stimulus. and don't say sorry
for being alone sometimes.
we go away to get
sane again. solitude and silence
save us, the absence of pain
in the form of people and ideas,
a place full of less
where we can really listen
where we can really listen
to all of the nothingness.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
AROUND AGAIN
most of those vain
vagabond bombshells i chased in
youth wanted nothing to do
vagabond bombshells i chased in
youth wanted nothing to do
with my abstruse poetry,
its pimpled pain. now older,
shelled by the abuse
of less sensitive men, here
of less sensitive men, here
they come around again.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
ANIMAL NATURE
the first people you made out with
were defined almost wholly
by willingness – their hungry mouths and yours,
blessed, holy “whores” who pulled your
sexuality loose from its moorings, attacked
the mysteries of the body
and the boredom of religion.
you feared them then, for sure,
until years later you thanked God
they accosted you first, helped you over-
come your worst fears
and regain your lost,
innocent animal
nature.
(image courtesy of Ryan McGuire)
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
COLLEGE
i had no use
for knowledge.
i ran wild then curled into
the protective ball of the gifted child.
i preferred to under-
play my true potential,
rather than prove it
was illusion. hiding, everything
seemed so binary.
everything. i craved
grayness. i confess
i wanted to stay
in between
kid and adult,
dabbler and professional.
i wasn't ready to practice
a vocation. i was so young.
it was
awful.
it was
wonderful.
it was
college.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
BORN (for Stuart Paul)
you wake up in a soapbox
derby car released
on life’s steep slope,
picking up speed
hurtling downhill,
no steering wheel,
for god’s sake
keep your head down
and be very still.
and be very still.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
VACATION
what passes for work these days has us
up in the air too often, getting high
enough to hurry better, wi-fi minds
keeping us tethered to whatever
priorities can be pursued most
profitably. wanna get away?
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
EXPOSED
we call it business because
it really is just an abun-
dance of busy. keep moving, you,
musing isn't performance,
we do do-ing here, not
intellectual indulgence!
how badly all of us wish
we could drop the whole charade,
this seemingly real hand-
wringing parade past meaning-
less numbers and goals.
nobody needs any
more of those. tell you what,
only on this sale, we'll throw
in a brand new
garden hose. how naked
must ambition become
before it gets exposed?
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
START RUNNING AWAY
for years i was a squirrel
whose nut was engagement;
i would send your mixtape back
with track-by-track reactions. not that
you asked. i would dedicate this poem to you
to force you to read it. i would not give up
until you did, and then i would
blame you for your will-
ful refusal to parry.
i was a content
machine always chasing
the world, begging it
to marry me while burying it
beneath my neediness. mean-
while, over time, i unearthed
a better way: if you want someone
to run to you, better to
start running away.
Monday, August 10, 2015
LASSITUDE
i hate spoken word
poetry -- i prefer you
crack these puzzles,
sculptures standing in
for meaning. make your own
head music through your eyes.
i'd rather leave your ears
alone for now.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
REMAINS
i have awaited my un-
expected death since the first
night i woke up to it.
i found myself giving up god
like a loose band-aid, stuck
in vain over a blister of doubt.
i chose pain over impossible
stories, inherited a prayer-
ful longing, and now
i cling to the kingdom
of worry that remains.
Monday, July 20, 2015
DOWN THERE
let go your dead-
lines, your expectations
and good intentions. be
as bad as happenstance
and wayward plans can
make you. and lo,
so shall you grow, your head
straining upwards toward pure
air, the better to escape
all the accidental manure
that always seems to accumulate
down there.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
KITE
i am growing fear-
less as i get older.
all that i consume
eats away at me:
music, drink, the fucked-
up friction of attraction, chasing
satisfaction, everything becoming
fertilizer for the next
generation, sucked in
by mortality's churning,
relentless anonymizer.
try this: let go
your memories, your babies,
your wives and your wise ideas, go
fly a kite while there's still time
and wind and trivial string
to hold us aloft, tethered
to life, dragged up by love.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
THE PAIN OF PARENTING
the pain of parenting isn't so much
personal, physical suffering. it's more
referred ache -- a blurry, persistent
stress that puts us on
sea-legs, makes us feel
like we awoke on deck
in a nightmare, a drunken ship-
wreck imminent, a portent of falling
that never comes true. our children
don't really grow up. they move in
and out of clarity, of being
able to answer what exactly
is wrong with you? with me?
and so finally together we
reconcile ourselves with this sad
fact: quite often it hurts
simply to be. life itself is
a queasy shared malady.
Friday, February 27, 2015
GROUND STOP
running through life and
airports
we dream of nothing
more than a moment
to pause, an instant
more than a moment
to pause, an instant
to reflect on every
other
harried happenstance
that has left us
harried happenstance
that has left us
bereft
of perspective, cut off
from our souls; we
are like
tops
staggering as we near
the end
of all this
spinning, still
straining to go
round, willing these
final
revolutions before
everything
stops and we go
stops and we go
to the ground.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
OH YOUTH
oh youth, you ill-fitting
clothing, so quick to go
out of style. would I could
return to you to linger
an uncomfortable while.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
OTHER DAYS (for Dave Wilber)
songs that have me
staring out the window like a dog
longing to be owned. other days
i feel the itch of despair
staring out the window like a dog
longing to be owned. other days
i feel the itch of despair
around my neck like a funeral procession, a receiving line of fleas
parading past the deceased and nothing,
not even music, eases the grip
of this melancholy; all sounds
become dull tones of surrender,like the baying of a dreaming stray who's
had enough of waking up alone
legs flailing vainly to find whoever
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